I did it. I finally graduated. Or rather, I finally finished my doctorate degree.
I could not physically graduate because there was no graduation due to Covid-19. Which you have probably heard of by now? If not, let me summarise it for you – it’s a virus that some world leaders thought was merely the flu, but it wasn’t and it spread rapidly and now we are in lockdown. And I mean actual lockdown, no leaving the house for anything but food and essential services. This is not the far future folks, it’s 2020. And viral outbreaks like this have been predicted before. I feel like a dinosaur in prehistoric times that looked up to the sky and said: should we maybe create a shield against those asteroids? And the dinosaur president said, nah, the chances of one hitting planet earth is 0.001% and then boom, pow, the dinosaurs went up in flames. Of course this is probably not really what happened to them. But I’m sure some predicaments have been relatable to ours.
The irony is that we are sitting with the biggest pandemic of all – climate change – but it kills us so slowly and subtly that we don’t freak out. I recently read a quote that climate change needs to hire Corona’s publicist. It’s not the same, but what has happened with Covid-19 in a matter of a few weeks – economies collapsing, systems crashing, people left unemployed and without resources, is slowly happening to us through our changing climate. Until the day that it starts happening very quickly. Humanity likes to put out fires and do damage control because they failed to plan in advance. Sounds like a place I worked at, and there’s a reason why I quit that job. It is not sustainable to keep running towards being on top of things, because there will always be more things. More problems, more tragedy, more disease, more melting ice caps. Someone once told me that I keep pushing hard, so I can get to a point of smooth sailing. But sadly, there is no such point. There is no truly peaceful period on this earth – life is a tug of war, it’s a tug this way and that, and that is just the way it is. The moment you accept that, you might actually find your own peace. Don’t wait for things to quieten down – find that quiet within you. So that you can be ready for the next wave. There will always be a next wave. I am not saying this to cause you anxiety, but because I believe in our ability to ride the waves when we are at peace with ourselves. As individuals, and maybe even as humanity, or living organisms.
Sadly I don’t see us riding out a tsunami if we pretend that it isn’t there. Climate change is not a Schrodinger’s cat moment, it is not a perception, it is not a belief, it is not even political. It surpasses yet encompasses all of these things. We live on a planet where we have survived because of the magnetic pull of the moon, because of the ball of fire in the size a gazillion times bigger than our planet, has made it possible for us to eat. Our universe exists in a delicate balance, and we are disrupting it. The universe does not care about us – no matter how hard we work, no matter who we try to impress, it simply does not care. It merely is, and so are we. And that is okay. But it also means that our habitat is really only as meaningful to our existence as we make it.
What do the stars, the moon, the sun, the earth, the milky way, or the universe think of the fact that I completed my PhD? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Even if they did think in some form or another, with some kind of consciousness, I would not matter to them. But I matter to me. And that is okay. Do they matter to me? For the sake of our human existence, I suppose yes. But to be honest, the universe matters to me for so much more – for the fact that I am part of it, that I am born of it, that I consist of it, that I will return to being it. I cannot explain how being insignificant can give me such a sense of significance. That knowing I am but merely dust in a moment of time can be so meaningful to me. I am unsure where this point of view will lead me, but I know that there are moments where I find myself, the earth and the universe in perfect alignment. In those moments I feel at peace. For those of you that know my background, my many years of turmoil, of back and forth and to and fro, you know that these moments are extraordinary.
When the world goes back to normal, what will that look like? Normal has mostly served the rich, and betrayed the poor. It has also waged war on the earth. Some of us have been fighting against normal. Somehow I feel like if we don’t collectively create a new normal now, we might never get another chance. Until it’s too late. Again.
Into the Willes 